I dont want to seem like im neglecting this. Ive had a week to remember. Or forget. I'm planning on posting a little tribute to a couple of friends who have helped me over the last couple of days. I dunno if they'll see it.

Its amazing how totally wrapped up in another person you can become. How one person can have you touching the stars one minute, and bring you crashing down to earth the next.

I've tried, in the past, to close myself off to people if I feel like my trust could be misplaced, or I may get hurt. Too many bad experiences have taught me that. But it doesnt seem like im going to learn anytime soon.

I feel burnt. On the outside, I seem ok, seem calm. Inside i feel like i've been shattered into a thousand little shards. Everything came tumbling down like a house of cards. And i feel like im draining other people because of it. Its hard to have any objective sense of other people when your own problems are dosing you up to the eyeballs.

I feel dead inside. I've crossed this path before, it doesnt make it any easier. It'll get better, I know. I just wish it didnt need to get this bad in the first place. I know sue will probably read this. If you do, sue, thank you so much for just...bein there. Especially on friday. You're the only person who's ever seen me like that. Ever.